Have you ever said this (feel free to replace “wine” with your favorite vice)? I know I have – PLENTY of times. I even almost said it after coming off a wonderful trip to the West Coast a couple weeks ago where I indulged in the vino probably a little more than normal. 🙂
Did you ever notice when you tell yourself that you’re quitting this and can’t have that, that you end up wanting it even more?
Exactly.
I can’t tell you when specifically this shift took place for me, but sometime over the past couple years, I stopped telling myself I couldn’t have something that I deemed to be “bad” for me. And whoa…how liberating it was!
With nothing absolutely off-limits, you might think I would go on a full-out binge complete with popcorn, potato chips, wine, etc. But it’s funny…the exact opposite happened. Once I gave myself permission and the CHOICE to have those things, I didn’t want them as much!! Does it always work? No…but practicing what my friend, Jill Coleman, calls “intermittent sampling” and living a life of true moderation leads to a MUCH happier existence! Intermittent sampling is exactly what it sounds like – never going into full pig-out mode, but never depriving oneself either.
When I think about all the time I used to spend obsessing about food, I feel so grateful to be in this place now. Does it really need to be that difficult? What if we all replaced the language of “I can’t have that” to “I choose not to have that”? Two similar, yet very different phrases in how your subconscious processes them.
We always, ALWAYS have a choice – when we use words like “can’t have” or “not allowed to have”, we are perpetuating an all-or-nothing mindset. And I have to quote Jill again here because she has this stuff nailed: “All or nothing always ends up being nothing.” I LIVED all-or-nothing for freakin’ decades, and it was not fun. I would spend literally all week obsessing about my once a week, all-out cheat meal, and then feel absolutely miserable afterward. I missed out on a lot of living, because Lord forbid, a family or social gathering fell on a non-cheat meal day. Those are years of what would have been precious memories that I can’t get back…because of the “can’t have” obsession.
Don’t get me wrong – when it comes to fat loss, there have to be some sacrifices involved to reach your goals. But again, it boils down to choice. And honestly, nothing should ever be completely off-limits (again – intermittent sampling ).
You will never hear me say I’m quitting anything (especially wine, ha!) because I know that just sets me up for a downward spiral of craving the very thing I’m quitting, guilt and being miserable.
So, Cheers (as I refill my glass of Chardonnay). Just kidding…sort of ;-).
Love,
Tara
P.S. If you’re ready to quit the all-or-nothing, but aren’t quite sure HOW to do that, let me know. We are running some cool promos through Easter Sunday on some of our best systems to help you break the cycle, reach your goals and create a sustainable LIFESTYLE.