Well…”it” happened again. My birthday. And not just any birthday – the big 4-4. And you know what ? I was totally ok with it! A few years ago, I would have wanted to escape somewhere and bury my head in the sand…let’s just say I did not used to handle getting older so well.
But in the last couple years, I’ve come to realize that I should be grateful for getting older, and all the wonderful things that come along with it. Sure, I could sit here and dwell on the fact that my tomorrows may very well be fewer than my yesterdays, but what the hell good would that do? Talk about doom and glooming yourself into a depression!
Instead, I prefer to focus on why being 44 so totally rocks. Here are my top 6 reasons.
- Feeling comfortable in my skin: getting older brings with it a sense of “loving what is”, at least it has for me. It took me a crazy long time to get to this place, but in the last couple years, I’ve settled into a place where I’m ok with “me”, flaws and all. I’m messy, I’d rather run 50 miles or do 1000 burpees than do laundry, I am the queen of procrastination, I really like wine, I sometimes spend the whole day in my pj’s, the list of imperfections goes on and on…and ya know what? I’m ok with all that. Period.
- No more falling into the “comparison trap”: wow…how much time I wasted on this when I was younger! “If only I had HER butt or HER shoulders or HER hair or HER career”. Somewhere along this road, I decided enough was enough and that comparing myself to others did absolutely nothing but bring on a bunch of useless negative self-talk. I am what I am. That doesn’t mean I don’t strive to be a better version of “me’ every day; not at all – it just means I have learned that playing the comparison game does nothing but cause stress and unhappiness.
- I finally get that “it’s ok to have a cookie and like yourself after”: – famous words from my friend and mentor, Jill Coleman: I spent most of my late teens, twenties and thirties obsessed with food AND exercise. What I “should” and “shouldn’t have”, turning down dinner invitations because I didn’t have complete control over how the meal was cooked, beating myself up for days and working out for hours if I indulged in a rare treat. Ain’t NOBODY want to live like that! Looking back, I wasted SO much time worried and anxious about food that I missed out on LIVING and enjoying time with friends and family. NO MORE. I now lead a pretty boring life of moderation where nothing is completely off-limits and rest days from exercise are welcome. And you know what? Once I stopped obsessing about food and what I “couldn’t” have, the less I wanted those things. And when I do indulge, I acknowledge it, accept it and move on.
- Realizing that looking “hot” is NOT what it’s all about: as I get older, I have come to realize that looking hot and sexy in a bikini is not the be all-end all. I get a little tired of everyone putting so much emphasis on it. Do I enjoy being lean and fit and looking that way? Yes…absolutely. But what I enjoy more is knowing that I’m doing great things for myself internally – those things you can’t see. Those things that help determine what quality of life will be like 10, 20, 30 years from now. When I was in my teens and 20’s, I didn’t care what it took to “look good” and didn’t think about the consequences of what I did to get there. In my 30’s, I woke up a little bit, but was still at the point where I thought I was somewhat invincible. As I got into my 40’s and lost both parents and all grandparents, I started thinking…ok, maybe it’s time to get serious about this health and longevity thing. Getting healthy and fit is not only possible now, it is PIVOTAL for life later on. This goes for everyone, even if you’ve never eaten “right” or exercised. It is not too late to start.
- Being ok with what others think: this kind of goes along with #2, but getting to a point where I’m not so concerned with what others think of me has been so liberating. I am a “pleaser” by nature, so the thought that someone may think negatively of me used to send me into a tailspin and anxiety and worry. Not so much anymore. I realize that not everyone is going to like or agree with everything I do or say, and that is just fine. My goal is to just be the best human being I can possibly be by expressing kindness, love and gratitude every day. 🙂
- Appreciating simple pleasures: when I was younger, I will admit that I loved material things – I think they served to fill some kind of void stemming from insecurities. Don’t get me wrong, get me in a Lululemon store, and it’s still a dangerous thing – ha! But, the things I cherish more now are experiences, not things. Being more secure in myself means I don’t need those outward so-called status symbols. Simple pleasures like being with family, watching the birds out of my office window, spending time with my pets, leisurely walks in nature with Nick, etc. are what really light me up now.
Do I have everything figured out? Not even close!! But by my 45th birthday, I’m sure I will have added a few more things to this list. Getting older is so cool!
xoxo,
Tara
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