I was flipping through Success magazine today, and one article caught my eye. It was titled, “Need to Lose Weight? Get happier.”
The article was written by a woman who lost 50lbs, not by going on the latest fad diet, but by addressing her thought patterns and overall happiness through therapy and other techniques.
I almost cheered out loud when I read it, as its underlying message is about self-love and well, being happy NOW. Not 10 pounds from now, not when you get that big raise, not when you win the race. NOW, right now…imperfections and all.
But why is it so hard to do this? We are so stuck in that “I’ll be happy when…” mentality, that we don’t notice how amazingly awesome we already are. It’s a dang shame, in my opinion.
It’s this way of thinking that keeps us stuck and so NOT happy. The more we beat ourselves us for not achieving whatever it is we think we should, the further out of reach it becomes.
What if we changed one little word to make “I’ll be happy when…” so much more powerful?
How about this:
I’ll be happy THEN…
Think about it. I’ll be happy THEN things will start falling into place. And it’s true. If you are miserable and stuck in a pattern of self-loathing, well…let’s just say like attracts like.
But how can you get to that place of being happy when you’re not feeling too good right now? Here are some tips:
- Find gratitude. It is true that everything begins and ends with Gratitude. The mere fact that you’re breathing and alive is something to be thankful for. It’s hard to feel bad when you’re feeling thankful. I suggest keeping a journal, and making a list each day of 5 to 10 things you’re grateful for. It may be as simple as being grateful for coffee, or as deep as being grateful for divine connection.
- Acknowledge yourself: a mentor and friend of mine suggested a daily practice of acknowledging myself for three things every day. It has worked wonders on my self-love and self-compassion. It could be simply acknowledging myself for being exactly where I need to be on my journey, or it can be something like giving myself props for getting up and getting this blog written :-).
- Take time for yourself daily: I hear from so many women that they just don’t take any time for themselves to do this kind of internal work. They are pulled in many directions, and of course put themselves and their happiness last. Taking time out for YOU is not selfish. As a matter of fact, it’s the most selfless thing you can do. Through a practice of self-love and self-compassion, you are able to give more freely of yourself. Try to work in at least 10 minutes to just “be” each day. Take a walk in nature, sit in a quiet place, etc.
- Assume the wish fulfilled: so this is getting a bit woo-woo, but if you’re a law of attraction junkie like me, then it’s right up your alley. When you’re taking that time for yourself, get really, really clear on what it is that you want. Feel the feelings as if you already have it (because you already do, it just hasn’t shown up physically yet). Visualize, emotionalize and feel those happy feelings NOW. If you can’t quite feel the feelings yet, then you need to go more “general”. This means thinking of something that makes you happy when you think of it. For me, it’s hummingbirds. I visualize them buzzing around me, and coming to light on my finger. I feel the wind from their wings against my face, and hear their sweet little tweets. Now, those things haven’t happened yet, but I can feel the emotions now, and I know it will happen. You can follow me on Facebook to get updates on when it does :-).
What are some ways that you get to that Happy Place? Can you make it a daily practice of focusing on I’ll Be Happy THEN? Let me know!
xoxo,
Tara
P.S. We’re going to be focusing A LOT on this type of thing in our 12 Week Healthy Aging Lifestyle Program. Nutrition & Exercise, while important, are just part of the equation for living a fulfilled, healthy life as we get older. It’s not too late to join us. Head here to learn more.